Param's Story
Param's Light to Healing is a 501(c)(3) Tax-Exempt Non-Profit (jk not yet) founded by the family of Param Nagra. Param was just 48 years old when she died from acute alcohol poisoning on November 16, 2024 leaving behind her legacy in the form of her children - Raveena (24), Armaan (20), and Sohana (14). The ages reflect the ages they were when she passed.
Param was born on July 19, 1976 in Singapore, Singapore. She spent her childhood between Malaysia and Singapore until the whole family was uprooted and immigrated to California. They first touched down in SF in 1988 - her parents, her, and her two sisters, Kiran and Parveen. It was here that Param spent her adolescent and adult years, attending school first in Napa, CA and finally 8th grade at Vaca Peña (the same middle school all of her kids would unknowingly also attend) and Fairfield High School. She later attained her AA from Solano Community College.
She then got married by 21 to Sukhbir Nagra. They moved to Yuba City after marriage and had their first kid (Raveena) in 1999. After a few years, they all moved to Red Bluff where they lived for 13 years before moving again to Vacaville, CA. In the time of living in Red Bluff, she welcomed Armaan and Sohana in 2004 and 2010, respectively.
She was a wonderful spirit. I know everyone says they know someone who can light up a room, but not only did my mom light up a room, she got them all dancing. Even the shyest of people would dance with her, or she'd just dance alone if she had to. She would say the silliest things, and I would always say 'it's just immigrant mom things'. For one example, she asked if they found people on Mars yet just days after they sent a robot there. My dad responded with 'yes, and a whole shopping mall'. Worst part is that she believed it! The lack of understanding of sarcasm runs in the family. She stayed making everyone laugh and unapologetically burping out loud. She was just always so true to herself. She was artistic, classy, and a pure soul. Her life revolved around us and our schedules -- sometimes even too much. Not sure why she didn't continue doing art, but it was a real talent. **photos below** She also was so in love with seeing the world. She instilled that love in each of her kids. She would travel as much as possible and created memories and brought her silliness to so many corners of the world.
The story began changing around 2020. Even with all of the best qualities, she was deeply sad inside. To the outsider, she had 'everything', but what does that matter when you are feeling a void inside. In 2020, she had her first mental health crisis. From then on, she would get better then spiral down - get better, then spiral further - get better again, and spiral even lower. Her rock bottom kept lowering. At the end, she found only comfort from whatever she was going through in her head through drinking alcohol. The worst part is that the alcohol truly did help. If you aren't able to think or feel, then the problems don't exist at least in your mind. We tried everything -- therapy, psychiatric hold, rehab x3, family interventions, crying, screaming, begging. After years of a battle within herself and with all of us, she passed from acute alcohol poisoning, and our world hasn't been the same since.
All I know is that her actions showed how unresolved trauma will always catch up to an individual. This unresolved trauma that I don't think she ever even fully could grasp as trauma or genuinely couldn't remember either due to being too young when any situation may have come up or her brain blocking out memories that may have been too difficult to remember. A part of it being so buried I believe is also because of the community around her, personally and culturally, not valuing or validating mental health or traumatic events in life. Unfortunately, it was like watching my psychology textbooks come to life in so many different situations and perspectives and there was nothing I could do to close the book and stop it.
We love you, Mom. We miss you immensely.
